Self-love and relationships

Plants of love are the oldest symbolism the herbals know: roses, heart-shaped leaves, sweet scents. Caring for oneself meant, in the tradition, above all time — a bath, an oil, a fragrant tea — and the plant was the sign that this time was allowed.

The catalogue lists two species from other continents under this topic, damiana and vanilla. Both have a reputation as aphrodisiacs from Mexican and Central American tradition, which is something other than 'self-love'; they came here through scent and taste. The European symbolism of love — rose, myrtle, lemon balm — is not in the list, and the text should not pretend it is.

Self-esteem and self-care can be studied and are studied — in psychotherapy, not in herbalism. It is documented that regular sleep, movement, relationships and boundaries change how a person speaks about themselves; for the scent of vanilla there are at most small studies on mood.

Damiana's reputation as an aphrodisiac rests on tradition and a few animal experiments; human data are lacking. Vanilla is an aroma, not an active substance. This topic is therefore about symbol and ritual, and the catalogue lists it that way.

A relationship in which a person is afraid, apologises for things they did not do and loses friends and themselves is not a topic for a herb or a bath — it is a reason to talk to a psychologist or a counselling service; in case of violence, call a domestic-violence helpline or the police.

Self-esteem that sinks together with sleep and appetite, or thoughts that one deserves nothing, belong with a professional, not with a ritual. Crisis lines answer around the clock.